My boyfriend and I just bought a house together and we’re starting to discuss what we want to do about decorating the place now that it’s ours. Anything we can dream of is well within the realm of possibility here. I told him, I’m gonna paint a gigantic portrait of Dio Brando on our living room wall. As soon as you walk in the house, there he is. As time passes, we’ll get married and have children. They’ll grow up here and become used to the continual presence of Dio Brando. One day they’ll bring their friends over and their friends will spend the whole time just warily eyeing him, unsure of what to think. They’ll be like, “So hey, what is that on your wall?” and my kids will be like “Oh, that’s just Dio.” And their friends will go “What’s he doing there?” and my kids will say “He’s just there. Why, you don’t have a Dio in your house?” and their friends will be all likeĀ ”Bro, HELL no”



My cat Monkey hates love.

I had All Star stuck in my head today and after a minute or two of mumbling the lyrics to myself as I went about my business, I realized that I somehow have the entire thing memorized. I’ve taken multiple algebra classes in my lifetime and don’t remember a damn thing from any of them but I can perfectly recite some shitty Smash Mouth song I haven’t heard in years no problem, I hate everything

We bought bagel chips from our favourite local bagel joint today and I was all jazzed for a snack attack until I realized they mixed the garlic and cinnamon sugar chips in the same package. How could you do this to me, Bagel King, I trusted you