I love Gatorade a whole lot because it uses colours as flavours. “Cool Blue” is a flavour. What does it taste like? Fuck if I know, it tastes like blue. You don’t need taste descriptors. All you need are electrolytes and blue dye. I’m all about it

Middle school was fucking awful, the whole thing should be outlawed. I’m going to run for office and that’s going to be my entire platform, make middle school illegal. I’ll win and you know I’ll win because you hated middle school too and you’re gonna be votin’ for me, pal

I’m declaring war on marriage AND Christmas. I don’t care about your traditional American/Christian values or whatever, I just feel like all this time you’ve been spending getting married and celebrating Christmas could have been spent watching anime and I’m out to change that